Scary Movie 3 (2003).en.bug-fixed Movie Subtitles

1 00:00:18.195 --> 00:00:21.426 I hate television. Gives me headaches. 2 00:00:21.632 --> 00:00:24.601 There's so many magnetic waves traveling in the airspace... 3 00:00:24.802 --> 00:00:26.531 because of TV and television. 4 00:00:26.737 --> 00:00:29.297 We're losing ten times as many brain cells as we're supposed to. 5 00:00:29.506 --> 00:00:31.337 Oh, please! 6 00:00:32.109 --> 00:00:36.102 "The cow says blank." Three letters. 7 00:00:37.314 --> 00:00:40.340 - Dude! - "Dude"! 8 00:00:40.551 --> 00:00:45.614 Magnetic waves, brain cells, don't understand the connection. 9 00:00:45.823 --> 00:00:50.890 You know what else heard? Magnetic waves shrink silicone molecules. 10 00:00:54.598 --> 00:00:56.964 - Oh, my God! Turn it off. - It's not working. 11 00:00:57.167 --> 00:00:58.634 - It's backwards! - What to do? 12 00:00:58.836 --> 00:01:00.980 I don't know. 13 00:01:04.241 --> 00:01:07.233 - That was kinda scary. - I know something even scarier. 14 00:01:07.444 --> 00:01:09.173 - What? - Have you heard about this videotape? 15 00:01:09.379 --> 00:01:12.644 The one where they do it on the boat? Then in the car? And the bathtub? 16 00:01:12.850 --> 00:01:15.751 And he's like, "Baby, love you". And she's like, "Where are we?" 17 00:01:16.860 --> 00:01:18.418 - And did you see the... - No, not that tape. 18 00:01:19.123 --> 00:01:23.355 The one with all the scary images. After you watch it, the phone rings... 19 00:01:23.560 --> 00:01:26.620 and this scary voice comes on and says you are gonna die... 20 00:01:26.830 --> 00:01:29.162 In Seven days. I saw that one wit Josh, last weekend. 21 00:01:29.366 --> 00:01:31.357 You were with Josh last weekend? 22 00:01:31.668 --> 00:01:33.761 Oh, my God! 23 00:01:35.772 --> 00:01:37.763 Oh, yes, I was. 24 00:01:38.475 --> 00:01:40.466 You ho! 25 00:01:43.800 --> 00:01:44.911 You know it! 26 00:01:58.128 --> 00:02:01.188 - This is really weird. - Yeah. 27 00:02:01.398 --> 00:02:04.834 Big house, only one phone. 28 00:02:07.538 --> 00:02:09.563 Hello? 29 00:02:16.446 --> 00:02:21.713 - Hello? - I'm coming for you, my precious. 30 00:02:21.919 --> 00:02:25.753 - Hi, Mom. - Hi precious. Having fun? 31 00:02:25.956 --> 00:02:28.584 Hey, ask her which bathroom has the vibrating showerhead. 32 00:02:31.295 --> 00:02:34.992 Hello? Hello? 33 00:03:24.881 --> 00:03:26.872 Katie? 34 00:03:28.118 --> 00:03:30.109 Katie? 35 00:03:34.925 --> 00:03:36.916 Katie? 36 00:03:45.302 --> 00:03:47.270 Are you okay? 37 00:03:50.674 --> 00:03:52.642 Are you okay? 38 00:04:59.710 --> 00:05:03.737 Tom, did you hear... The dogs are acting strange. 39 00:05:24.234 --> 00:05:25.861 D***n it! 40 00:05:26.690 --> 00:05:29.800 Sue! What are you doing out here? 41 00:05:30.400 --> 00:05:32.838 - We were worried sick. - What's wrong? 42 00:05:43.420 --> 00:05:45.115 I wonder what they're trying to tell us. 43 00:05:53.964 --> 00:05:57.764 And now, Washington's leading morning news program... 44 00:05:57.968 --> 00:05:59.128 "The Morning News". 45 00:05:59.603 --> 00:06:01.195 Good morning. I'm Ross Giggins. 46 00:06:01.405 --> 00:06:02.963 For our top story: we turn now... 47 00:06:03.173 --> 00:06:04.572 ...to Cindy Campbell. - Thank you, Ross. 48 00:06:05.542 --> 00:06:06.668 There's a developing story... 49 00:06:06.877 --> 00:06:07.901 in Middleburg at this hour. 50 00:06:08.111 --> 00:06:10.102 A mysterious crop circle appeared... 51 00:06:10.313 --> 00:06:13.900 in local farmer Tom Logan's cornfield. 52 00:06:13.216 --> 00:06:16.549 Elaborate prank or extraterrestrial phenomenon? 53 00:06:16.753 --> 00:06:19.722 We'll update you as soon as we have any further information... 54 00:06:19.923 --> 00:06:21.891 but either way, it's clear something strange... 55 00:06:22.920 --> 00:06:24.253 is happening in that small town. 56 00:06:24.461 --> 00:06:28.560 - Ross. - I'm sorry, I wasn't listening. 57 00:06:28.265 --> 00:06:30.495 Coming-up, more news after this. 58 00:06:32.569 --> 00:06:34.200 - Cindy, you g***t a second? - Sure. 59 00:06:34.204 --> 00:06:37.105 I want you to take a look at this big strip club exposé. 60 00:06:37.307 --> 00:06:41.573 - I'd rather stick with the crop circle. - You know those things are a hoax. 61 00:06:41.778 --> 00:06:47.307 I sense something about that cornfield. Women's intuition, or ESPN, or both. 62 00:06:47.517 --> 00:06:50.509 But I can tell when danger's near. I just... 63 00:06:53.623 --> 00:06:56.922 It's sweeps month. Rating mean everything. 64 00:06:57.127 --> 00:07:01.120 People want human-interest stories, like the one you did yesterday. 65 00:07:01.331 --> 00:07:03.940 The report on breast augmentation? 66 00:07:03.633 --> 00:07:05.533 It was ten minutes of topless women. 67 00:07:06.102 --> 00:07:08.536 I mean, come on. 68 00:07:09.506 --> 00:07:12.498 Why are these so interesting? Oh, for God's sake! 69 00:07:13.610 --> 00:07:16.443 People don't care about this. They want hard-hitting stories... 70 00:07:16.646 --> 00:07:18.477 and in-depth coverage, and, and... 71 00:07:18.682 --> 00:07:20.775 And twins! 72 00:07:40.237 --> 00:07:43.536 You think it was the Kreisel boys who cut that stuff into your corn? 73 00:07:43.740 --> 00:07:46.504 All I know is my crops are gone. 74 00:07:46.710 --> 00:07:49.304 The bank's gonna foreclose if I can't pay the rent. 75 00:07:49.579 --> 00:07:52.912 I g***t sixty days to come up with US$ 1,50. 76 00:07:54.184 --> 00:07:57.711 I'm sorry. The last thing you needed... 77 00:07:58.555 --> 00:08:02.719 was more hardship in your life. Especially after what happened to... 78 00:08:02.926 --> 00:08:07.522 - Sheriff, I don't need your sympathy. - I didn't mean to upset you, Father. 79 00:08:07.731 --> 00:08:13.499 Please. I'm not a minister anymore. I lost my faith that terrible night. 80 00:08:14.871 --> 00:08:19.205 Your fate will return, just as sure as the sun will rise. 81 00:08:19.409 --> 00:08:20.433 Sounds like a long shot. 82 00:08:20.644 --> 00:08:25.240 Look, there's always an explanation for all this so-called phenomenum. 83 00:08:25.448 --> 00:08:28.542 Maybe you're right. It was probably just the Kreisels. 84 00:08:28.852 --> 00:08:34.256 When I get through with them, doubt you'll be seeing anything strange. 85 00:08:34.624 --> 00:08:36.251 You'll see. 86 00:08:38.610 --> 00:08:40.859 You all right, Tom? Get some rest. 87 00:08:48.471 --> 00:08:50.564 George! 88 00:08:52.750 --> 00:08:54.270 George! 89 00:08:56.120 --> 00:08:58.810 I need you back here tomorrow night after you pick up Sue. 90 00:08:59.150 --> 00:09:02.143 - That tractor needs fixin'. - Sorry, dog. Can't help you. 91 00:09:02.352 --> 00:09:06.448 - I have to get ready for my show. - Not that stupid hip-hop stuff again. 92 00:09:06.656 --> 00:09:08.920 D***n it, George, when are you gonna do something with your life? 93 00:09:09.125 --> 00:09:10.456 - I g***t a dream. - What is your dream? 94 00:09:10.660 --> 00:09:14.255 - To have a dream. - George, all you've done is chase... 95 00:09:14.464 --> 00:09:17.956 adolescent fantasies. You wanna be an astronaut, a cowboy... 96 00:09:18.168 --> 00:09:21.660 gynecologist to the stars! And now, this stupid hip hop thing! 97 00:09:21.871 --> 00:09:25.238 For your information, this hip-hop thing's gonna get me paid. 98 00:09:25.442 --> 00:09:27.103 I'm gonna win that rap battle tomorrow night. 99 00:09:27.310 --> 00:09:32.475 - Rap battle? Oh, for God's sake. - You just hate me 'cause I'm black. 100 00:09:32.682 --> 00:09:34.343 You don't have any faith in me. 101 00:09:34.551 --> 00:09:36.212 You don't have any faith in anything anymore. 102 00:09:36.419 --> 00:09:40.140 So why don't you just worry about you, and I'll worry about... 103 00:09:58.800 --> 00:10:00.135 Cody! 104 00:10:00.744 --> 00:10:04.771 - You're late again, Aunt Cindy. - I'm sorry, was stuck in traffic. 105 00:10:04.981 --> 00:10:06.107 Cindy! 106 00:10:06.316 --> 00:10:10.343 - Brenda, hi! - It's great to see you! 107 00:10:11.421 --> 00:10:15.517 - It's been so long. - Too long. I've been working so hard. 108 00:10:15.725 --> 00:10:17.716 I've had to spend more and more time at the station. 109 00:10:17.927 --> 00:10:20.760 The news just keeps on coming in. 110 00:10:20.964 --> 00:10:25.128 - What was the assignment? - Draw your family and friends. 111 00:10:25.335 --> 00:10:30.739 - So, anyone new in your life, Cindy? - Just haven't found the right guy. 112 00:10:30.940 --> 00:10:33.500 I'm looking for something more than just good s***x. 113 00:10:33.710 --> 00:10:36.975 - I know. You want commitment. - No, want great s***x. 114 00:10:37.180 --> 00:10:40.411 - And when I meet that guy... - That's what I'm talkin'bout! 115 00:10:40.617 --> 00:10:43.916 You want a guy that's like bam, bam, bam! You know what I'm sayin'? 116 00:10:45.355 --> 00:10:47.653 Did I say stop drawing? 117 00:10:48.910 --> 00:10:50.491 Look, when I meet Mr. Right, I'll know. 118 00:10:51.928 --> 00:10:57.332 - Uncle George! - Hey, sweetie, come here. 119 00:10:58.268 --> 00:11:00.498 Go get your stuff, okay? 120 00:11:01.738 --> 00:11:07.335 - You're Tom Logan's brother. - You're that reporter, Cindy Campbell. 121 00:11:07.544 --> 00:11:11.200 - You did the story on our "cop cycles". - Crop circles. 122 00:11:11.214 --> 00:11:12.875 Right. 123 00:11:13.216 --> 00:11:16.947...