The Muppet Show s03e20 Sylvester Stallone.eng Movie Subtitles

1 00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:10,500 Hi, I'm Brian Henson. 2 00:00:12,100 --> 00:00:15,940 The Muppet fans are sometimes really crazy people. It's amazing. 3 00:00:16,239 --> 00:00:21,119 Every crazy little walk -on character, they know the name. So, if you want a 4 00:00:21,120 --> 00:00:24,730 facts that'll impress your friends, tell them about these characters. 5 00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:29,739 Here's Wayne and Wanda. These two are an accident -prone singing duo who were in 6 00:00:29,740 --> 00:00:32,810 the pilot but only actually lasted through the first season. 7 00:00:37,040 --> 00:00:38,540 Or how about Betsy Bird? 8 00:00:38,541 --> 00:00:42,719 She was a beautiful, eccentric dancing bird who appeared in several shows, but 9 00:00:42,720 --> 00:00:44,280 she never really quite took off. 10 00:00:44,880 --> 00:00:49,339 Or here's Fleet Scribbler, who's an abrasive tabloid reporter that the press 11 00:00:49,340 --> 00:00:51,639 loved, but the show's writers couldn't stand. 12 00:00:51,640 --> 00:00:54,230 Muppets banned press reporter thrown out by fraud. 13 00:00:54,520 --> 00:00:56,800 He was soon written out of the show. 14 00:00:57,240 --> 00:01:01,239 Just keep watching and you might see Fleet and a few other unsung Muppet 15 00:01:01,240 --> 00:01:02,440 on The Muppet Show. 16 00:01:07,390 --> 00:01:08,470 Sylvester Stallone? 17 00:01:08,670 --> 00:01:10,970 Fifteen seconds to curtain, Mr. Stallone. 18 00:01:11,590 --> 00:01:12,640 Everything okay? 19 00:01:12,810 --> 00:01:14,190 Oh, yeah, I'm happy as a clam. 20 00:01:17,070 --> 00:01:18,390 I'm so miserable. 21 00:01:18,970 --> 00:01:21,430 I've g***t to walk over until midnight. 22 00:01:22,410 --> 00:01:23,870 Well, happy as some clam. 23 00:01:27,650 --> 00:01:31,790 It's the Muppet Show with our very special guest star, Sylvester Stallone. 24 00:02:33,710 --> 00:02:37,320 guest is a writer, director, and the talented star of that popular film 25 00:02:37,490 --> 00:02:39,230 Mr. Sylvester Stallone! 26 00:02:45,210 --> 00:02:46,590 I'm sorry about that, folks. 27 00:02:46,770 --> 00:02:49,480 Right now, we're going to present a dance from Hawaii. 28 00:03:14,619 --> 00:03:16,880 Thank you. 29 00:04:56,490 --> 00:05:01,009 Puppet chose a great job for a pig. You all say, we could be working a loo 30 00:05:01,010 --> 00:05:02,060 house. 31 00:05:02,850 --> 00:05:05,110 Now we're off to a possibly decent start. 32 00:05:06,910 --> 00:05:09,890 Oh, we're here. We're really here. Yes. 33 00:05:10,770 --> 00:05:13,660 Good grief, it's Sylvester Stallone's groupie brigade. 34 00:05:13,990 --> 00:05:17,330 Listen, girls, you're not allowed backstage during the show. 35 00:05:17,650 --> 00:05:19,910 Oh, it's okay. We g***t passes. Yeah. 36 00:05:20,670 --> 00:05:22,350 Passes? We don't give out passes? 37 00:05:29,360 --> 00:05:36,359 could be selling backstage passes around here 28 29 bucks yeah boss scooter i 38 00:05:36,360 --> 00:05:40,279 want to talk to you okay uh right now i gotta go introduce sylvester stallone 39 00:05:40,280 --> 00:05:46,599 but i want you to stay right here and don't move right see how valuable those 40 00:05:46,600 --> 00:05:50,679 passes are girls the frog's gonna let us stay right here so we can see sylvester 41 00:05:50,680 --> 00:05:51,730 up 42 00:05:59,660 --> 00:06:03,520 Roman Colosseum, where brave gladiators sometimes looked like Sylvester... 43 00:06:30,969 --> 00:06:32,019 Hold it guys. 44 00:07:47,120 --> 00:07:52,259 And I say I'll eat you, fight you, beat you, b***e you, eat you. Let's call the 45 00:07:52,260 --> 00:07:53,310 whole thing off. 46 00:07:55,120 --> 00:08:01,959 Before I say Augustus. And I say 47 00:08:01,960 --> 00:08:04,120 Augustus. And I say Cuvares. 48 00:08:04,420 --> 00:08:05,470 And I say we go. 49 00:08:05,860 --> 00:08:07,920 Augustus. Augustus. Cuvares. We go. 50 00:08:20,970 --> 00:08:22,020 You must... 51 00:09:37,900 --> 00:09:38,950 We had a serious talk. 52 00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:42,190 Boss, I understand you don't want these groupies backstage. 53 00:09:42,191 --> 00:09:45,979 That's true. I understand you're angry with me for letting them in. That's 54 00:09:45,980 --> 00:09:49,470 too. Well, I wouldn't have if they weren't just so desperate to see you. 55 00:09:50,180 --> 00:09:51,230 Me? 56 00:09:53,060 --> 00:09:54,180 Where? Where? 57 00:09:56,840 --> 00:09:59,520 Girls, girls, girls, you're going to have to leave. 58 00:09:59,720 --> 00:10:01,160 Kermit insists upon it. 59 00:10:02,400 --> 00:10:06,020 Wait, wait, no. Well, leaving isn't what I insist upon exactly. 60 00:10:08,130 --> 00:10:12,050 Standing quietly over there near my desk will do just fine. 61 00:10:16,350 --> 00:10:19,989 He fell for it. Okay, quickly now, up the stairs. We'll go to Sylvester's 62 00:10:19,990 --> 00:10:21,070 dressing room. Come on. 63 00:10:24,650 --> 00:10:26,350 Who's that small green man? 64 00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:34,749 Say, Sly, could I have a word with you for a minute? Oh, sure, Scooter. Come on 65 00:10:34,750 --> 00:10:35,799 in. Oh, great. 66 00:10:35,800 --> 00:10:38,599 You see, there are a couple of your fans waiting outside. Well, they're not 67 00:10:38,600 --> 00:10:45,120 waiting outside. Well, they wanted to... Touch me. Touch me, please. Touch me. 68 00:10:45,800 --> 00:10:46,850 Oh, 69 00:10:48,160 --> 00:10:51,300 look at all the bodybuilding stuff Sly has here. 70 00:10:51,660 --> 00:10:53,700 Are you really a training Sly? 71 00:10:54,020 --> 00:10:58,439 Well, no, not really. I mean, I'm not really a fighter. I made a movie about 72 00:10:58,440 --> 00:11:01,960 fighting, but I like to work out and keep in shape. 73 00:11:06,320 --> 00:11:07,370 few punches. 74 00:15:33,100 --> 00:15:34,300 Silver, are you decent? 75 00:15:34,740 --> 00:15:36,860 No, but my folks were. Come on in. 76 00:15:36,861 --> 00:15:42,219 Rumor has it that there are a bunch of groupies loose in the theater. Oh, 77 00:15:42,220 --> 00:15:43,270 really? Yeah. 78 00:15:43,700 --> 00:15:45,560 You, uh, think I'm safe here? 79 00:15:45,780 --> 00:15:47,280 Yeah, I think you can rest easy. 80 00:15:47,860 --> 00:15:51,960 You know, I noticed when you came here, you didn't arrive with much baggage. 81 00:15:52,020 --> 00:15:55,640 Yeah, that's me. I travel light, no baggage. Yeah, that's you. 82 00:15:55,641 --> 00:16:00,259 Traveling light, yeah. Well, listen, if you need anything, you just let me know, 83 00:16:00,260 --> 00:16:03,459 huh? Well, thanks a lot, Link. I appreciate it. For instance, I mean, if 84 00:16:03,460 --> 00:16:06,919 wanted my aftershave lotion, it's in the right -hand drawer. Well, thanks, Link, 85 00:16:06,920 --> 00:16:09,390 but I don't. Yeah, my cologne is in the left drawer. 86 00:16:09,600 --> 00:16:14,040 Well, thank you, Link. And the scented body talc is above the mirror. 87 00:16:14,041 --> 00:16:17,999 Well, Link, you sure treat yourself well, you know that? Oh, can't complain, 88 00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:20,760 know. Us guys, we've g***t to stay fit, you know. 89 00:16:33,230 --> 00:16:36,910 Oh, Tommy the Worst. Did he mark me? Yeah, a little bit, I'm afraid. 90 00:16:37,150 --> 00:16:38,200 Oh, no. 91 00:16:38,201 --> 00:16:40,789 Hey, Link, Link, Link, Link, don't cry, don't feel bad. 92 00:16:40,790 --> 00:16:42,030 You still smell nice. 93 00:16:47,690 --> 00:16:48,740 Excuse me. 94 00:16:49,430 --> 00:16:51,310 You can't go out there. 95 00:16:51,590 --> 00:16:52,890 That is the stage. 96 00:16:53,410 --> 00:16:55,330 Well, I know that. Shh, shh, shh. 97 00:16:56,370 --> 00:16:59,670 I know that. I'm playing in the William Tell Overture. 98 00:17:00,630 --> 00:17:02,750 I didn't know you were musical. 99 00:17:03,160 --> 00:17:04,210 I'm not. 100 00:17:06,760 --> 00:17:09,350 Should have a lot in common with the rest of the band. 101 00:17:29,680 --> 00:17:32,020 I'm once again for Veterinarian's Hospital. 102 00:17:32,220 --> 00:17:39,080 Hey, when are we on? The continuing story of a quack who's gone to the dogs. 103 00:17:39,081 --> 00:17:41,659 All right, Nurse Janice, where's the next patient? 104 00:17:41,660 --> 00:17:43,040 Oh, here he is, Dr. Bob. 105 00:17:43,041 --> 00:17:44,239 Where's he from? 106 00:17:44,240 --> 00:17:46,320 Hawaii. I'm fine, thanks. How are you? 107 00:17:48,720 --> 00:17:53,060 Dr. Bob, that is the oldest joke since they renamed the islands. 108 00:17:53,360 --> 00:17:54,860 What were they called before? 109 00:17:55,040 --> 00:17:57,750 Sandwich. No, thanks. I might get crumbs on the patient. 110 00:18:00,940 --> 00:18:03,350 The patient was in the opening Hawaiian number. 111 00:18:03,500 --> 00:18:08,180 Why wasn't I in that number? I can do the hula. I've seen you do the hula. 112 00:18:08,260 --> 00:18:09,400 You're no great shakes. 113 00:18:10,340 --> 00:18:12,360 The patient misses Hawaii. 114 00:18:12,720 --> 00:18:16,080 He's homesick. How can he be homesick when he's right here sick? 115 00:18:17,340 --> 00:18:19,720 I mean he misses his home in Hawaii. 116 00:18:20,340 --> 00:18:23,040 Oh, I can fix that. Hey, patient. Watch this. 117 00:18:34,440 --> 00:18:35,490 I mean napples. 118 00:18:35,660 --> 00:18:37,860 Napples? No, you mean apples. 119 00:18:38,280 --> 00:18:39,840 No, napples. You put them on pies. 120 00:18:40,960 --> 00:18:42,010 Oh, no. 121...